crib, only crib

sleeping til the end of time

the radius of a room

solitary, no wife

crib, only crib

no cry, but baby's there

crib, only crib

and i try to wake her up

but when she wakes she cries

then I can't sleep

reading when I'm writing

living when I'm dying

wake up, oh, baby in thy crib

I scream out playbooks

I destroy all toys

I kick my self

for my baby will not wake

crib, only crib

which is haunting my nights

only baby, baby

no one in sight

alas, there is room for the pen

every two hours or so

and I dream when I sleep

and my dream into prose

i hear a weep

crib, only crib

my baby awoke

cry,cry,cry

my wife is not there

she doesn't exist

how can this be?

you need two to make a baby

crib, only crib

I fall back to sleep

crib, only crib

the dawn shines on my newborn's skin

and thus, my morning begins

meringue

brothers fighting wars together and what happens, they lose their minds on the range and begin thinking about each others loyalty. day in, day out, all they think about is what if the bullet proof vest has a glitch, or they didn't eat enough protein or fiber. they sleep in cots next to each other and they pray together for the same mother and father, but they haven't heard from either in 4 years. abandoned.. little sister sends cookies, burnt, charcoal. they speak the same language and they both have the same colour eyes but they can't relate anymore because they saw each other's pain on the battlefield.

what used to be, was nice. Momma making lemonade and daddy cutting firewood. baby sister and the wet nurse. running in the corn fields, playing hide and go seek. smiling and friendship and love.

now, they can't close their eyes when they sleep. too much of a risk. cheep hooch at the next truckstop might settle it, but who knows. the alcohol might take away the tension, but for how long. they begin to open their mouths, but no words come out. and they stare. before they started, it wasn't great but it was okay. a pat on the back and a beer. target practice on the range. girlfriends and pet dogs and apple crumble. momma made a mean meringue. and now they stare at the ceiling of a tent.
standard issue. an arsenal of weapons. close your eyes and find happiness. but they've changed.  eyes can't shut, mouths don't speak. they've become the product of unknown virtues.

they can feel the enemy approaching. but the real enemy is laying down parallel to both men. if they were spies, they would have cyanide pills, but they don't. they have reality. a weird sort of reality but their minds can still change.

the battle is over and both men hitch a ride back home to the hen house. a smile, timed awkwardly but maybe they can become brothers again. they sell their gear at a gas station and have some money for a chocolate bar. Kit Kat and Twix. they share. they ride up to the house. a narrow dirt road. get back to plucking chickens and milking cows. daddy making bread, momma making miracles, and little sis reading literature on the porch.

But it wasn't like that, it was the last thought of  a brother who was bleeding profusely in his brother's arms.

I won't leave you

but, no words, a blank stare and tears of anger looking up to the heavens. it all could have changed. they didn't have to be there, or was it just bad luck? determinism? fate? cause and effect? nothing could change what had happened. the shrapnel zigged and zagged and ended up in his throat. he would die in his brother's arms, never shooting his gun in the battle.

and the brother would return home. to a grieved family. a question mark in each others eyes.

and mom's homemade lemon meringue, cooling off on the windowsill. his favourite.

sweet child

go to bed
go to bed
go to bed
sweet child

when you wake
oh, when  you wake
the sunlight will be shining

daddys making breakfast
mommas laying eggs
brother jacob still in his crib
still whining about no cake

you're day will be filled with constant joy
for you are awake
and the spirits are guiding you
or maybe it's just a coincidence

do the dishes with mom
lay with dad like a lion
both sleep side by side
a baby to guide us

close your eyes baby
close your eyes
and dream about the story
which momma tells many times

go to sleep
go to sleep
go to sleep
sweet child

when you wake,
when you wake,
the sun will be there to smile

light green dress

light green dress

she wears her light green dress

in the summer, baby

in the summer of love

can you dig it, son

i'll understand the one

to be on heavens side 

for just once in my life

we get to the beach

a little colder at night

she wore her light green dress

baby, she's all mine

*instrumental break*

she's all mine, baby

she talks to me sleeping

wondering what else out there

she could be possibly meeting

can you dig it, son

i'll understand the one

to be on heavens side

for just once in my life

we lay down on the sand

i need it like a man

she sacrifices the lamb

beings from a holy glow

i love the sand

it works to understand

our body together

just her and her man

just her and her man

let me understand

let me un-der-stand, oh yeah

homemade jet areo plane honey

there may be times when you settle down
and start a family instead of living on the streets
the family is equal
and loving in care and you know it's family
to provide and protect
there are the ones who help like mom and dad

then, you know what to explain
when you want to jump around
like a monkey on a plane
gliding through the sky
on a homemade jet aero plane

you find a name, pick one for me please
and i will write him a story,
for he is of interest to me
he could be Fred or Joe or Mick and Lou
or Sheila and Rebecca and Tinkerbell and Sam
it could be anyone, just believe
think it out, you'll know it will help me

I want to write the story about her
the one who was talked about before
but I can't find her so I'm looking more
I grow my hair and brush my teeth
let alone find this beautiful mate to meet
i just can't comprehend what time can tell

I'll call her Beth and she'll be my dream
as cocky as hell with wooden feet
she'll jump on the table and roll over in bed
she'll spit when she talks and swear like a sailor
she'll fart without coughing and sneeze like a loon
every moment with her will light my kazoo
insane like an orange and whispering jokes
she'll be one of many, that I choose for a story

If I can change me, I can make Beth
she'll be mine and i am hers
and even though we say i do
she changed the moment it happened too

instead of speaking intensely,
she was quiet and in depth
she would sleep on the couch, and sit nicely at the table
she never talked unless spoken to
and the ring on her finger will make it true
i never heard her say a swear word again
she would never mumble and began to pray

this wasn't the woman I married that day.
So now I'm stuck, I have to hold my breath
every time I wanna play, no lovemaking
just reading books, read and write and logic and math
she turned me into a man
and I'll never forget about that

Gg

solo traveler

Solo
Traveler today

I'm by myself and i don't know why but I'm scared.
I'm scared for once. Terrified alone afraid distinctly obsolete
The wind blows at my back as the sun hits my eyes
but I have shades on, so its okay. I look like like a man you once knew
back in school, back in life, back in your shambles

what is grammar, for it is only worlds apart from speaking precisely
can't you help me for I am still in love
and she doesn't know me or notice me or love me to care
i see her once in a while, but I just can't speak when she talks
my mind gets caught up in love, swept off my feet, but i come off arrogant and asshole-ick
why can't i just say hello, tell her I'm alive now, wondering when you can honestly agree
i love your shades, your eyes so bright, it's all because I love you, do I sail in fright?

James C

James Contendo
was a boxer back in the day
all he wanted was to beat things up
he jumped on the couch
he broke his childhood toys
he smacked himself in the face

he coulda been a contender
but his belly grew big
because big ole mamma
wouldn't let go

he would run everyday and jump fences into pools
James oh James, such a young man of 23
he knew he'd leave someday
only when he was ready
because boxing is not what he was known for

Contendo was a sales man, door-to-door
selling printed off sheets of paper to the neighborhood
he'd ask for 15 but could be persuaded to 10

this was his lifes work, in the palm of these peoples hands
being read over and over again
and a smile admired his face, it glowed
as soon as anyone would read, he'd know
a big smile over his face

but the paper and the ink ran out
and he knew exactly of it
so he sent emails and emails and maybe someone out there would find him
and someone found him

a dog that could type 3000 words per minute, selling his story in the print
a manuscript into a book, words all through the world

with a single click of a button

Gg

Prospero

the tale of Prospero Vain

not quite the tale of Dorian Gray

but this man was held the cord when it comes to being vain

in the mirror morning and night and he stood there for years

trying to get what isn't what we expected 

no face in the water reflections

no jumping in water to catch himself

hell, he couldn't find more of himself to display in front of the maids

he tried, oh he tried

to find his mate, but how could he when all he did was look at himself vainly

all day everyday

stuck, in a rut, no hope, hopeless

but the story lingers on for he does find his maiden faire

she was everything a man could imagine

her beauty was fair, her eyes projecting through objects, it seemed

he could fall in love with her ten times a day, in different settings, different hours of the sun

Prospero was just a humble man, and to him, she was a Goddess

something out of Greek tragedy, a princess who would never let go 

Even out of the Shakespearean time, a modern day Romeo to an obvious Juliet

When can this love stop? Will it ever?

Him and her walk to the boardwalk and the bay and hold hands and kissed,

Prospero was no longer vain, for he found his exact image in her in himself

he was looking into the mirror, every time he saw her

so what did he do?

he went home and took a small sledgehead hammer

and he smashed the mirror to pieces

7 years bad luck. and the mirror lay, in pieces and he left and locked the door

the carriage came and his baby awaited, they would have children no doubt

and live off the land, growing herbs and tomatoes and everything a garden would have

and it would be peace

and he would grow old and his kids would comfort him 

and the life he wished and wanted and would enjoy

but she wasn't in the carriage

only her father and he looked in pain

"there's been an accident" 

and there was a picture of her in his hands

she had hung herself

over nothing, over a thought that would go away in a  second

but her depression was too much, even in love

the father wept. and Prospero yelled to the heavens. 

not words but just tongues, he couldn't speak and he wouldn't

so what did Prospero do?

he went to where the mirror was smashed 

kicked down the locked door

and grabbed the  biggest piece of mirror that laid

he held it into the light, tears falling to the floor

and he slashed his left wrist then his right

then his throat, and blood splattered on the walls

and tears fall to the ground as does blood

and he fell back into the blood and her father yelled more and lifted him up

but he was too weak and couldn't lift the man

and blood oozed

the only thing that the family upstair had heard

were the meadowlarks in the sky

Romeo and Juliet, in vain

the coffeehouse of many

the coffeeshop near my house
is home to dentists and business men alike
they drive different cars
they eat different food
they piss standing up and sitting down
they dress nice
they smile
they may even wear ties

the fireplace it burns
and we think that its a real fire
but its not
it's a figment of imagination
it looks like it's just at the same point
forever and all day

i look into this coffeehouse
and i see
i see everything and it lets me be
i see mother and daughter
fathers and sons
nothing like what D.H. Lawrence wrote
this is now and we are real
but we stand apart

you must have a heart
and a rough skull to tell them apart
are they just like what i thought they were
or is it facade? drinking tea? is this my dream?
is it something i believe in
do you know? for i may have forgotten?

what you see is my face
i shouldn't have let you seen it into the first place
but i am begotten, forgotten, unknown
i should have made sure to begin with
and maybe I would have been able to go to the galas
with the princes and princesses of this world
with 16 lawyers on each side of them
is  this for real, is this the appeal, can it be real
but now I will change my name
back into innocence

i may be lost, but at least that gives me a reason to be found.

i sleep

I sleep

I sleep on the floor

I sleep near the doors

I sleep in a shelter

I sleep on a couch in a house

I sleep on a pillow

I sleep with blanket

I sleep by myself

I sleep by someone

I sleep with my eyes closed

I sleep in a barn

I try to go to sleep

I count ten sheep

I go to sleep

can i do it?

now there once was a boy
never made it too far
he kept locking the door
oh a farewell cart

should be writing bout darts
but i find no eagerness
i try to fit it in
the schedule i got

the schedule i got
makes no difference to you
gonna finish Lithium Darts
if it's the last thing I do

gotta get on started
let the motor roll
preach to the paper
and wonder what i got
this piece of paper
has the story on it
i think i was right
when i said the bus knew well

now i know you been waiting
so cleverly and intense
i wanna share you this story
only time can tell

it's been a year now
and i only got 15 pages
but today and tonight
the coffee will barricade my weakness

wondering ideals

Do you ever get sick of it?

I mean, everything happening so fast? Maybe it's my mind or maybe it's just the human condition brought unto us by a divine creator, or just human nature. I'm trying to write another book, but I can't finish where I first started. Idiot Savant just flowed, but Lithium Darts is just so mind racking. Then again, I haven't had a full day with it yet.

Is it all happening so fast? I am writing, which is good, but to whom, no one comments, no one cares. I hear someone mention it in the outer world and my thoughts flow to my life and my work. Have you seen this? Have you read it before it has been written? How can I think when all virtue is lost?

Maybe trap myself indoors and just type like a typing madness artist. What will I forget in the outer world? What will be remembered? We all have inner worlds and outer worlds, our feelings inside and how we project them. I've been like Buster Keaton with no emotion on his face and then I laugh at something, so simple, so divine, and I look weird, and people think I'm crazy, or so I would think.

I look like a woman for god sakes, my eyelashes, my lips, I'm becoming a ghost. Maybe that's the way it should be, work incognito, or just write to you, my faithful mise en scene,  you are what I view. I think it's living conditions as well, more drama, more daze, more yelling and screaming, more nonsense. Why? Why do I put myself through unhappiness? I want to be happy but I can't, I find something negative in each moment, my being-in-the-world. My dream girl, the artist, one that will walk side by side through my scattering and nattering and hours of conversation on the the phone.

It feels like I know nothing yet everything. I feel hopelessly in ruins with tears running down my cheeks. I am not old, just wise, or at least that's what i tell myself. And i'm telling this to you, for you have seen my face and I have not seen yours. It's almost voyeuristic in a sense, you can find me, but you are anonymous. How can I breath walking down the street? You knowing me and i not you. A man who cannot speak is in trenches, and I am think man, lisping the words to her.

Sometimes there's confidence, and I like these times. I feel like myself, before I aged and became wise. Her smile, the laughs, nothing could go wrong, and then i say something awkward and it's over. Like a samurai with his sword. A cut through the body, stunned, stuck on the asphalt with questions of what could have been and what happened? Then I cannot smile anymore. A car would help or a solitary room. A sense of freedom instead of the continuous day to day grind of my limited mobility and the sections of how my day goes.

I live four lifetimes each day, maybe more. Hellos and goodbyes, then sulks. The faces look familiar but all i see is anxiety. All i taste i nervousness. And dry. God forbid I grab the bottle and succumb to ignorant bliss so to say.My hands at my sides, like a prisoner, man condemned to be free. Nip Nip at my liver. the hemlock speaks the truth. Where is the agoras?!

Gg

une femme est une femme

So, I'm sitting in a coffee shop near my place and I just began to wonder how to have conversations with groups of people I don't know really. I gave a mom 20c as a kind of joke play and she invited me to sit with her group, I guess, since at these places no one really unites to form a full conversation among all being there. Great way to network.

I tried to talk to the la la pretty girls with the dramatic lipstick, nothing against them, but it was just awkward because I didn't have a full drink in hand, and i look pretty shaggy, and i kind of looked as if i were asking for change. And then I asked if they knew anyone who could teach me to salsa dance and then again, you know, right?

Anywhoo,  I moved along to these comfy chairs and asked these three guys, my ageish, if i could sit down. And I did and I told them it was awkward and they knew that because it already was before I sat down. So then I morphed into, like, professor mode a la film and science because one of the guys was a biologist and seemed interesting. We talked chemistry but he didn't know much and my background in chemistry was pretty much pouring two liquids together and setting the table on fire. And the really hot chemistry teacher i had. She was such a tease. One time she had to put these posters above the chalkboard and he red lace thong was out, and the class is like 17 years old at the time and everyone just stared, semi erection, uhhhhh?

Anyways, I go into Godard, of  course, actually Eisenstein first, about montage, which he understood quickly and then Godard's saying that, to make a movie, all you really need is a gun and a girl. He didn't understand, so, i'm like, yo, you put a gun in a girls hand and it's sexy. Male audience gaze would be intense because it's action, ACTION and potentially more action as she moves around the city. You can't go wrong with an existential film about a girl and a gun.

Then I asked him a question about mushrooms and how if you peel a piece of skin off the top of a mushroom and bury it into the soul, the next day there would be a circle of mushrooms from where you planted the first mushroom. They used to call mushrooms fairy seats because ancient times believed at night, these magical faeries would come out and sit on the mushrooms and have their own UN meetings.

Then netflix talk, so I went back to the first group I was with and the mother was kind of pushing her daughter to me and she was pretty, but not my type.

Then I left, walked home, looked at the ceiling and asked one question, what's Next?

Gg

happy ending

she slept so tender
she slept well,
i think so
well i didn't
what do you expect

bags under my eyes
a gentle cough and cold
the kids aren't awake yet
but then again,
they don't live here anymore

i coughed and hacked
asked for ass
but she said no,
she had to go to work
i just sat there idle,
with my palm in my hand
and a grin of denial

that was the highlight of my day
then i went to work
mixing soda pops and ice cream
to punks and drunks
and a cop or two just patrolling the area
he wanted watermelon
but all we had was splenda

i'm seeing ghosts
up and down the street
the bluesy ones
too angry to be
it's a shame i guess
ill be like that
no doubt, what a sight

then i got home
my baby before me
she wanted it rough
it was a long day at work

we started in the kitchen
it got all hot,
the eggs burning on the stove
she took off my tie
and i took off her bow
then we looked around

where to next
i wanted the bed
she wanted the floor
so we decided on the couch
where all out neighbours
could watch

i'm her toy for the day
no batteries needed
my hands held themselves
all over her being
she bit my neck
and i licked her wounds
it got hot
and something was burning

fuck
the eggs
it started a fire

almost inside
i'll be real quick
smoke in my eyes
fuck
i better call someone quick

she whispered

Entrancing heavens
all through the night
come and get me
i'll be alright

sink to the bottom
looking for lost treasure
my feet in a slew
dontcha be a fool

she walked up to me
like a carousel park
she muttered to me
boy, it's getting dark

so we went to her place
a bottle of white wine waiting
she looked at me
this ain't no cup of tea

she took off her shirt
before the wine was uncorked
she said to me
boy, let's make this a night

and then she whispered
then she whispered
join along

so i took off my pants
showing her my gunshot wound
she looked up at me
like a doll unbroken soon

she said, you're really sturdy
how many lives do you have left?
and i said i got three left,
after that wine, maybe two

she pulled my hair
and got out some candles
took my zippo
and lit them on up

the wax began to burn
she dripped on my thigh
how's that feel babe
i couldn't say any words

she whispered, oh hell
she whispered
join along

the wax felt good
her lips tasted sweet
i dug my lips in
to taste her complete

she promised me climax
i knew of the sort
i told her to come first
let her play in the joy

she rattled and moaned
and her body went weak
that's when i let go
oh ever so deep

that's my story of one fateful night
she's got me on her cellphone
won't do much fright
my phone is in a lake somewhere
beepin all night

and what she tell me
oh what she said
she whispered oh lord
she whispered to play

headache ideals

and where have we left off in this line of work? or no job, as most people call it.

I am out of work yet I type with such grace it's almost unseemingly impressive
and there goes my egocentric, only person in the world rhetoric. I had a drink last night at a birthday party and then a cigarette and it felt good, my god. add some tea to that and it made for one hell of a night.
I was involved with the girl chat by the end of the night because I have just realized, at least in my eyes that most men don't get it or care about chitty chatty veronica from jughead right? right? like come on . It was emotional and real while the men talked about some random thing and we were right in the middle of a mental breakdown because someone thought about their husband with another woman. It's okay, I get it, especially when marriage is involved.

But she was overthinking it, like most women do. I offered my suggestions and it helped, i hope. And that was after her 4th glass of wine. Which reminds me, where is the  whiskey? like this place is dry for god sakes, no cigarette or spirits, no wonder I've been so depressed. Like really, just a couple drinks and i can write for daze. Spoiler alert, create a membership based newsletter. Like really? I just thought of that now, bastards!

I should have ordered the expensive whiskey but i chose not to, but i could have. That would have at been a farce.

And then I was grocery shopping around midnight and I find myself beside this beautiful honey baby girl and start talking to her about sex and my aunt gets in the way. It  as major go go time but ruined, AGAIN, by me not being on my own yet. It's pathetic really. I succumb to it and I grasp it and there's a book to read, and a presentation.

But if anyone needs to know entertainment law and copy write, I do have a lawyer's card that could be of some service.

I'll talk to you later.

Gg

no tea for tommy

every word that I type feels like a blade in my back, chest and shoulders
I am in pain writing to you
but that won't stop me

what is love? a good question, especially at the beginning of Works of Love
Kierkegaard explains, I have not read yet, but I'm seeing both red and blue
birds tweeting hurts my ears

maybe it's just someone to talk to, ya know, a voice behind the masks
we wear these masks everyday, whether at work or at home
the social actor plays different roles everyday
whether it be mother, son, boss, co-worker, file clerk or lover
we do not comprehend this as role change because we do it naturally
now I'm stuck at writer, up and down, and backwardsness
will this state of mind change? or do i have to change me?

i beg to differ on either one
the second book has gone apeshit, but I'll be able to fix it
there's narrative and then there's the narrator
playing the narrator is my tour de francais
my French is terrible, I should have studied on that plane ride

the crash from the coffee is probably the cause, the caffeine of more than 5 cups of coffee
i should have just drank the pot (worldwide spoiler alert)
but I'm guessing it has to be the caffeine
or this day to day nonsense, I'm getting bored,so they put me on boards
and I can't swim without my life jacket on

not exciting, I know, but that's all I have for you now

Gg

coffeehome ideals

the coffee has begun
this is my coffeehouse today, my home'
you don't understand how difficult it is to write on this laptop
the cursor keeps going back to where it is left off and words jump back to the cursor
it's frustrating but it's almost like using a typewriter in a sense, so I acknowledge the frustration

what is there to talk about in the whole wide world, or the www?
I feel like I am past the point of no return, agewise, but then again there's nothing someone older can't do
I feel like a dinosaur, yet I have wings
sure, some dinosaurs had wings, but this is a new breed
flying and hunting, a timing dinosaur who reacts hunting and breeding through his own time manifestation
a dinosaur that is natural, these dinosaurs have survived

my body is hairy and I can see my ribs
and most likely the coffee is all i will eat and drink today
there's not  much food in the house, except canned beans, spinach and KD
i'm not complaining
and they want to know my password
awww shucks

looking at magnets on the fridge make me wonder
like, I never knew Ohio was the buckeye state, i don't even know what that means exactly
and/or care, but I do care, so I will Google, not now but later
shapeshifting is real, perception is what we determine ourselves what we want to see through our ideals and our past, the gaze of the good and bad

I'm sure there's a documentary out there somewhere that explains whats going on?
can there be and it must be science. sure, I have faith but it's my own and I do not speak to the public about it

now when a writer writes, what do you see in the word. abstract, thought, questions. the truth.man is always aching for the truth since the printing press, like the Marquis, who wrote his final works in feces and blood.
I'll be dead by 35. just haven't decided how yet. a bus. a train. too much Viagra. don't get scared for I am 8 years away and have much work to do before that ever occurs.
Bowie had his 5 years and I have mine. In a dream, are we dreaming? Is consciousness a dream?

more questions. white pills and red pills and blue pills and oranges. these are a few of my favourite things. I'm just kidding. sweet tarts are awesome and I ate all the rosebuds. yum.

I'm gonna end up somewhere across the border, yelling for more lemon meringue pie and a lighter to spark my cigar. and now the coffee's kicked in. what do you expect really? that I can put a sentence together right? like come on, just because I am me, doesn't mean we can't philosophize.

I'm aching to work on one other book, but I just can't find the inspiration and I will continue to try and break social conventions. I must break the narrative. crush it and turn it into art. art attack.
I feel as if I woke up in the wrong generation, I should be in the 50s or 60s in Greenwich Village. Howl and love sick and especially naked lunch. I know, right. When you could drink and smoke anywhere. But no, instead I quit smoking and drinking, cause it's no fun hunchbacking over a bar by yourself or smoking in the freezing cold 15 minutes away from the patio.

Do these politicians actually know what the masses want? and we sit back without protest and just allow this to happen. Bar owners must fight for their patio and the rules to make the consumer as comfortable as possible. I just have questions. And we just accept it.

So I stand on the ever-glorious teevee watching CHCH and I wonder, does anyone know where the Hamilton Spectator is?


Gg

the 10th of April ideals

now if we're gonna make what i think we are gonna make
then i suggest we start now and just stop thinking
just stop thinking and really reflect to on being-in-the-moment
i am as i speak to you for i do not backspace or make mistakes

im just kidding, or am i?
you have to riddle something, something clever
something mundane and repetitive
like watching the same team play sports, only on a different chessboard

you cheer for the team, you buy their logo, their propaganda
but maybe i am being too cynical
too irrational, absurd, ignorant
since i do not fit in a ever mounting brand lust

i do like my coffee at home, but then again,  i don't drink coffee
i like tea, tea and water and it helps me think
just sitting around and reading and sipping tea when it cools down
you always have to keep the body moving, so the brain can process

my mother wanted me to be a doctor
i didn't feel like it before, but now I am awake "WAKE UP"
so now i am nothing, lost in nothingness, in words, genetic makeups and hogwash
but i'm still going to be a doctor egads, definitely, social butterfly

everything is just too much for our senses
every advertisement, every niche, every scene, every cigarette
light a candle and see how long it lasts, our forefathers had to
however, something introduced fire to this mess, and salmonella poisoning shrunk worldwide

what can i really say that will be of use to anyone?
sure,ive had my ups and downs, we all have,especially being out
sometimes the downs are too soothing, but you always want to be up
so licorice and lemon soda for you, if you can afford it

i can't so I drink water and eat nothing, empty, devoid of food
blurg, blurg for a blog and a smile on the back of your backpack
i just feel like typing, everyday, get it all out and again, reflect
people are easy to talk to, children are simple, yet costly

movies change our lives, even though we only see the movement
do we not think about why is someone showing us this and what it means?
is there a message between cuts? a joke than serious humour? what is it?
we only hear and see what we wanna see, to make us unique, individual

our perspectives are our own, but the influence works  greater
eyes move because of the brain, eyes see because of the worms, what is the synthesis?
no more hot dogs and beer, no more candied apples, no more poison
fitness, strength, why waste a fortune on food that's been created to kill, the 1%

we are machines, we have to be, but we have free thought and we are not chained to a rock
look in all your cahiers and you will find the answer, information is now free
suggestions made will be heard, eyes will see you, ideas will reveal revolution
revolution in the streets versus the top companies to destroy us slowly (and expensively)

cigarettes, alcohol and now marijuana
lung cancer, cirrhosis, and paranoia/psychosis (pain relief at a cost)
where are the advantages, doctors  predict
"it's okay, just stay in your rooms  and we'll protect you", as long as you give them the stacks of bills
so they make bills, to destroy us

ideally, i am complete
this is an idea, or a redemption
for you see now and can weep, or help your fellow man/woman/other
all i am, my name and my passion is in this pen! STAND UP, don't sit and miss out.

gore

the blood
the gore is all over my face
those fucking zombies ate him
they gouged his eyes
and teared at his back and now he's gone
that shit won't happen to me I tell you
no I'm fast, keen, strategic
I can do this by myself
I got my rifle
and enough bullets
they're gonna come charging
through that door any minute
the madness
donkdonkdonk
down goes the door
i thought i was safe
but i wasn't
i shot more and more,
but they kept coming and coming
no look of backup
this plan's gone to shit
i pray and i wonder
what part will they tear off me next

all i got

my soul has started

you guided me there

i tell all the people

about the almighty pen

when you get there

find your ways

but for now darling

youre home to stay

you look like an old man

the sea can be yours

you hold on tight baby

i'll lift up the floor

we cuddle and giggle

laugh and snooze a lot

for my friend is equal

to the ones I got

and I got no one

no one in the world

except you typing all over my shirt

can we break two stones in half now

i would like that very much

its all up to you now

cause its all i got

take out

dinner at home today
actually take out
tofu on steamed rice
i can't complain
with a side of chop sticks
even better
went to the library
it's heavenly when I go
I got 5 books
so you will soon hear me no more
the race is almost complete
it'll be done by this week
no teriyaki sauce too
no sauce for me
its been a while
since the leopard hit my tongue
the scotch
the gin
the martini, 3 olives please
i yearn
yet i am disciplined and balanced
almost
with no distractions
almost
i live by that prayer

competition

we gonna get there
competition
you know you've tasted it
you want to win regardless
you would do anything to win
you look in your competitors eyes
and everything you've worked for
for years, ages
the look in your eye
ambition, snakeish
your legs don't twitch
my arm doesn't fail
the finish line
the email
the deck of cards
you must win no matter what
your opponents think differently
they just want to stay afloat
they fear you
some despise you
and then the gunshot
the click of the mouse
the shuffle of the cards
sweat gleaming down your face
a mis click, a busted draw
can you overcome these obstacles?
you better speak up now
for when the time comes
there's only time to be
and being in the moment
is the only time you can see

Georgia man

the blues
son house, muddy waters
singing to sing, slide geetar
we don't listen anymore
we have the pop pop pop
or the new blues
i doubt that
i think the new blues is big band
orchestra
because it's dying, both are
cause i see none
but then again I don't go out
I just read and watch
and when we have old school blues
the young ones scoff
the beer belly blues
if they aren't thin
they musn't sing
but those Georgia men
on the bayou behind mulberry
keep a steady string
a twang, a twing, a song, their sin
slide with me
just like a penguin
i can hear them now
and i'll let you know about it too
because baby
all i got is the blues

stuck in the middle

stuck in the middle

you're here too

how do we get side by side

without looking like an oaf

new words, i try to make them

but my brain goes pause

no left nor right

but in the middle

challenge yourself today

no coffee

no sports talk

no sons and daughters

what do you really talk about you today

can you handle that

talk physics and philosophy and politics instead

revolt, revere and overthrow

your keeper

you have the balance

all you need is the light switch

dawn at night

go home in fright

too scared at the water cooler

grow some balls, ones i cannot

stuck in the middle

in cafes and sailboats and in the literature

stuck in the middle

how can this be fair?

decisions

my red rubber ball
since university
has been at my side
i named him something
i forget now
but it definitely is something
i was going to go to the library today
but it's raining
i was gonna help out a store
but it was raining
so what do i do now
read and write
in my basement deep
like the rest of them
the revolutionaries in Kronshdat
did i spell that right
who knows
this latest work has been PG
i need to know if i can go farther into sexuality
break the barrier in a blog
but it would end up pulp
scattered on the floor
the decision is yours
lets fuck or lets pretend to care about what I have written
the decision is yours

you know

you know
when i was young
i thought about growing old
and dying
and it didn't feel so bad
i wasn't scared
i was prepared
and now i'm not afraid
because I know my soul
will go somewhere
let's hope
all of ours do
to another planet
with human control
no robots or monsters or evil men
just the hopes and dreams of what they saw in the dome
nihilism a must
to think this way
i'm not afraid
and i shake my head up and down
for the fear of dying
is the fear of being alive

the jest

eating pb and j

no care in the world

these fingers type fast

like a blade, the poet gets none

im here to muse the king

with my ransackle humour

and maybe he'll give me some bread

how my body aches of substance

just milk and water

make me wanna vomit a discoloured mess

the king barks at me to jest

and i think real fast

"the scrumptious land over eager sun

lay through the barrens, far and wide

come find your gold for it is king

and reap all the benefits that no dimwit can"

bravo, he roars

more more he begs

and i roll my eyes

"your king dome is fair

even maiden a queen

the ones on the ground all love their king

they bow before you, the next lord indeed"

bravo bravo

and im sick of this shit

give me some bread

because people are starving where you do not see

i can share the bread

with my brethren and my kin

no sin indeed

and he throws me some bread

run off for now

be back in the morning

i want to feel loved

cartoons

cartoons
the ones we watched as kids, remember
the ones with the cat and mouse
some weren't even cartoons
some were stories behind a campfire
made us laugh, made us scared
the man of 1000 voices
well only 456 to be precise
we looked up to them
sitting cross legged
mom would call for dinner
and we had to tear our eyes away from the screen
dad used to lay beside and laugh with you
the comedian in him
warner brothers and tiny toons
disney and pixar
we see how they developed today
with more motion and moving
the pictures became fast
do you know how to make them
i kind of do
takes more than a year
well that was back in '57
i remember one really funny episode
with a bunny and a skunk
that bunny chewed a carrot
while the skunk fell in love
and i ran back to the teevee
stomach full
that skunks name was pepe le pew

PITs (Pirates in Training)

the cabinet is full
the chairman stepped down
and was forced on the plank
we are no different than pirates
but now, instead of captain
we are CEOs
and we go to Asia
and abuse our power
come back with smiles on our faces
having dinner dates with chairman, the first mates
and the captain promises equal shares
but he is 51%
he ravishes the weak and lame
to make the numbers and graphs work in his favor
up there
in the sky
so no one can get him when he hides
but he will be found or mutiny
and he runs and he talks
and he flees the country
his people against him now drive the ship
no tastes, just told what to do by a new CEO
ideas flake, and the just are helpless
this happens in every building, stockhouse and more
where they suck the blood of the masses
to wine and dine and scheme more

there is one man I know who does not
and i wish to be him
but he is hang gliding and surfing
and bungee jumping too
i just hope the one you left in charge
doesnt end up making you a fool

hemlock

i was given poison to drink
a chalice
and i thought about everything all the time
and i told people what i thought all the time
and then they gave nothing but the poison to drink
as i sat in my cell, my friends all said dont
i told them the idea of death
and reincarnation and soul
i was not afraid for i looked the emperor in the eye
from my cell
they should have known there would be a coup
and they all forgot about me in various ways
but my followers stayed close and began writing it down
so my legacy lives on
you wont know my name because youth has forgotten
the ways of the mind and being
to take only what is needed
and i fought that and i knew it and i respected it
and now i am a prisoner on deaths door
and i drink the herb, the hemlock
and i close my eyes
and finally, i see my vision

fo real rap

shake that booty so fine girl
we gonna rap about it all night
now its all about that bass
i know you know, get on that floo
she dance, yeah she dance
what up baby, you need mo doh
my boys all around me
we now watching the ladies
big ol booty never lie
i drink ma drink
cristalez is mine
we just like dogs
scopin to prowl
but baby she so fine
how can i deny
no more drugs, ever again
we clean cut crew
aint mess with dem
shit, i see this show on teevee
called the boondocks
hella funny to me
im blind in one eye and my other eye crossed
i see my brain
it so big, no frost
my only thing left
is to touch, hear, taste and smell
these babies help me
while i help them
have a good time
no pimpin fo real
i just wanna hold her hand
and thats mighty fine fo real

valentine

mini mini
you are so tiny
i have a name for you
and its mega mouse
but thats a whole other story
youre adorable
cute
beautiful smile and more
and i just sip the tea
and i look into space
hoping you are at the counter next
my gaze is on you
and you are tinier than the counter
i have to jump up and look for you
and there you be, always smiling at me
my heart twitches
could i fall in love again
i think i can
well i hope
and maybe one day youll see me the same
a date, confusion at first but ill find the words
gentle, calm, serene
this is the way its meant to be
i talk so much and you just nod
listen up, everything is involved
one day i will be old and wise
so should i ask you out
or are you afraid to be mine
valentine

POT OF GOLD song 1

badoo doo
badoo doo
badoo doo
badoo doo

lying in the sand
(badoo doo)
up to my ankles
(badoo doo)
makes me wonder why
(badoo doo)
why im always  here
(badoo doo)
for if i shall die
an untimely death
(badoo doo)
sitting in the sand
(badoo doo)
taking command
(badoo doo)
at the door
(badoo doo)

now if i shall die
you come and get me
we gonna see it all
gods golden shore

now when we venture
up to the iconoclast
may we look down
and see the future
and the rest

(badoo doo)
(badoo doo)

now when i cry
i sit up all night and listen
wondering why
youve come to visit

if its pottery you want
go next door
come find yourself
drunk on the floor

(badoo doo, badoo doo, badoo doo, badoo doo)

i can whistle a tune
nowhere to go
find me the rune
of our exciting foe

for if we fall
back  on our feet
baby, we dance
the nights complete

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(badoo doo, badoo doo, badoo doo, badoo doo)

YEAH YEAH!
(badoo doo, badoo doo)

AND NOW  HES DONE
GODS GOLDEN SHORE
WE GONNA FIND
A POT OF GOLD

(a who hoo, a who hoo, a who hoo, a who hoo)

*heavy drum*

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH

 

cig

i smoked a pack of cigarettes in 15 mins

my lungs hurt

i cant breath

and i smell funny

why do i buy this shit

soldier son

soldering the men on the playing field
hide in your bunkers when you believe it is safe
chariots on fire, nothing to stop this
what have you signed up for

bleeding and rotting in the trenches
you cant hear a thing
only pistol shots and cannons
the boy lost on the field

he wanders around, no gun in hand
and attacks, by running at full force
the kid he is 15, god knows why he is here
his mother and father dead from gout

he woke up and ate a potato and now hes here
to grasp onto life, like the men
he takes photos of everything
hoping his camera will survive

he hands out water to the men in need
like a puppy dog, loyal and stern
a Shepard boy, no need to fear
like a ghost almost, whos not quite there

no helmet or knife or rifle or bayonet
he lives to help the men get back on their feet
to battle another day
this battle unknowingly hurts this kid

the battle kills women and children
why do we fight for death
this kid is a spectre
and theres many everywhere

this son is a ghost
fetching water for pain
this son is a ghost
for this war has killed many

WHY WHY WHY
can you answer that corporal
the question is unknown
and it helps the queen sleep at night

in her luxury bed
eating crackers
she has killed our sons
is this the end

all blues

im singin the blues
where they go
admire those people
who are dead and gone

one to one talking
no knockout here
just got a geetar
and somewheres a mandolin

aint hurt me baby
it hurts me enough
i got these shoes
they a mess in the muck

now for me baby
answer me this please
why dont you dress
when i come over to please

i like it hot
you like it cold
i liked it red
and now im all blues

video under Giordan Kovacs on YouTube :)

talk alot

these people out my window
standing there with cell phones
and laser pointers for they talk
talk alot

should I go talk to them, but they aren't looking my way
so i write about them
how they act, how their faces scrunch over the windowsill
i ate a whole pack of licorice watching them

my ear itches so i can hear what you say
but its all gone across, these wonderful waves
not the microwave, but actually the ocean
real, dark and mysterious, like an open book

one sec, i have some licorice to eat
the whole bag
mama knew id be sick
and now im forcing myself to vomit in some shithole

back to the main plan
you have to straddle the horse
to get to the next rendezvous
get the mission accomplished

and you leave me and youre gone
and i am alone, forgotten
thrown in the wind
but he will save you upstairs

ill never see you again
you wont write, or phone or send me a postcard
and now i know, i really know
why so many people sing the blues

fingertips

channel yourself into the waves around you
close you eyes and open your ears
what food is this you speak of
we are now one and whole

united we hold hands, like birds on the fence
but we believe in what there is
just don't tell me, or ask me, or hand out flyers
ill read it and put in my back pocket, just in case

heres where the double comes from
whats a double

exactly, you thought something else didnt you
a paragraph on something that is 2 in 1
possibly 3 in 1 or more, but who cares
im just a man hidden in darkness

do i age, do i feel, do i weep
i dont do anything, i just be
this is my life
and im creating something that's meant to be

a poet, a sloon, a wisherwasher magoo
blind, hated, misunderstood
yet loving and smiling and, kissing her mouth
i cannot do that now, for i am in darkness, didnt you know

i keep telling you but guess you'll figure it out anyway
what the darkness really is
where old souls lie to waste
that is where you will find me breathing

the fire out my nose
the turnip at my feet
no more alone
can i help you

HOW! explain to me you must
i cant read minds yet i am getting there
as i play with my lips
give you a pen and sign it in my blood

my blood is wine
you need an inkwell
like an octopus
let me rest

i cant go on
make your decisions fast
for i am tired of soul
but very alive in my fingertips

too much dirty talk

Reader Discretion Advised



lets keep this brief so we both know whats going on

you take off your shirt
i take off mine

mmmm

then you slide your pants off slowly, the one with the dirt on it
you must have had a hard day

ill take off my skirt, oops no undies today
i can see you salivate

mmmmmm

can you undo my bra
just the way you like it, i cant wait to watch

your boxer briefs with the bulge
off now, i demand it

and i stand there fully naked, except for my glasses
ill keep them on because I know you like it

yum yum




I get into my housecoat and youre in yours
I wonder whats new on Netflix

neon madmen

neon madmen at my door
asking me to spare a nickel
to get back to their home
i don't know which way to go

consecrate our graveyards
looking for gold or rust
or jewels and diamonds
you cant make this shit up

i dig with my back
another ditch made for towing
my back is strong though
and I work for the money

this time its free though
because i need to understand me
and where do i go
what can i be

you get that feeling sometimes
to abandon all hope where you be
but hold on tight
for its quite the bumpy ride

everything is a sin
i helped myself to three today
i think i will end the day with five
after my tea

what does it mean to sin
don't get preachy on me
but really, if he wanted something
couldn't he just have asked us simply

not demand, we are friends
where are they
oh they forgot their tickets on the merry go round
and im beginning to type marry

avast in the reading of chapter two
of stages on life's way
to be marry is just
but to be loved is even more

can i be loved
what is love
im so broken
with no carton of smokes or goodbye

if i make it past dawn tonight
ill smile above and not beside me
because no one is there
except for a giraffe i won at the circus

with her, shes always there
in  my dreams
i want her back
but those neon madmen took her

and to realize now,
i paid for it,
with a nickel
the one from the start

rap song 2

so like that
you know im trippin
kids from the school
know its my respect

what you got there son
a little rolex
from your daddy
now its mine
tough luck

repeat after me
WHAT THE
what the hell
WHAT THE
what the hell

now beat box your way into high society
cant even pass the bar yet
been drinking like fishes til noon that day
so drunk i cant even stand my way

now these beats soho
when i live in New York
club bounces when hear these grillz
reverb Detroit

hell, im outta the ghetto
and into the mix
king crow for me brutha
now lets go pimp

hoes here, hoes there
hoes everywhere
im a gonna get broke for the second time
sit down on the street and do a mime

drinking diet coke
hell gotta get that caffeine
play some roulette
all my money bling bling

the saddest part about this trip
the hoes we found turned out to be NYPD
they bust us now for soliciting
damn, and I was having such a good time

story dont end there OMG
they caught the wrong guys
yeah baby we free
what we gonna do tomorrow night

gamble and hoes
til the break of dawn
i just hope
my luck dont run out

rap song 1

im a 52 year old man
what the hell do I know about rap music
but im stuck in this now
the doorman pulled a gun in the elevator

all signs point to the penthouse
im scared as shit and i wonder if its loaded
he jabs it into my rib and i look at him
he looks like an imp, one of those monkey butlers

his eyes close for a sec
hes jonesing for sure
and how the fuck did i get in this situation
only God knows I guess

I feel like i have to puke
and we are at the penthouse
i vomit on the carpet
the doors swing open

the people just look at me
bottles everywhere, grillz
imm definitely in the wrong place
hell even at the wrong time

now you bitch, gonna make  me a rap song
says toothless joe, i saw him on television one time
but i dont know how i say
gimma a fackin rapp song nikka

well i need a pen and paper
and i begin writing...

tantrums

temper tantrums and women in bars
both come naturally to me
i rather enjoy the tantrums more
cause i left sleaziness a long time ago

have I aged so horribly
lost my taste of freedom
and quite possibly gone mad
a checkmark to all three of those

what do you contemplate when you sleep
muffins and cake
california, new york, japan, rome
the godforesaken vatican

no that is all for someone else
not me, oh no, not me
my hair is getting long
my teeth yellow

i run around my room with a guitar
i only know one cord and it is bouncing out of my heart
to you, for we met a few times already
and you dont even know my name

is my grammar that bad
the gray hairs too gray
the smile withering
take time and adjust yourself, this is only getting better

swirl the clock around your computer
tick tick tock tock goes the clock
and you can hear its next move
tiiiick then tooock, then im awake for hours

just like the birds in the trees in the morning
what do they say
i always try to talk to them but they only chirp a little
i think i can talk to them, so I do

is my grammar really that bad
i should write a book about it
so bad its good
i should copyright but how do i do such a thing

i ask of all blogs blogging
a simple question, is this work really mine
now that its on you
i should have asked when i started

im going to add a few chapters to savant
for you to read and see
it might make you crazy
hell, it definitely made me

catalogues

catalogues in the middle of the day
your dream girl with eye drops on her retina
how does an eyelash get inverted, anyways?

oh anyways
what we say when we could say I don't know
oh anyways
add that to your vocabulary

it's hot tonight
this panic in my fingertips
for i rage alone
rural
adept

come find me and have some Jello
I ate some last night
that's all i eat
and I still feel fine

have you heard of eggs?
I enjoy beans in a can.
10 tins for my birthday
there I've said it now

what happens when everyday is your birthday?
I must understand
chasing DARTS buses in the late afternoon
do they have beans in a can?

and for now on this gibberish stays between you and me
don't tell a soul
for i will  know
you tattled on the imprint of fingertip panic

dial up daily to dose yourself in your dungeon
just don't hide the cheez-whiz

haircut

i'm on the brink of madness
have you opened the door
have you gathered the troops
have you lost your war yet, sir?

the war in my mind says to wake up
and i quiver like a baby banished to the corner
I can't do this myself
or can I?

I think I can and I will
so there....
mister hot shot
good-luck
just don't get a fucking haircut

or it will ruin you for life

it will empty your soul and your dreams

just don't get a hair cut
please baby
just please

together

Get me drunk on Easter Friday
Get me drunk til noon
spark up some casserole
let's make it through

the wild notion of the way we move
tastes well enough to be in the mood
not a time to brood
together,  inside, the way we move

a sip from the bottle
homemade tea
enough to make biscuits
for a prowling feline like me

and you love it when i beg
and when i cus
and when i slur
you love it when i'm at my worst
and your beginning
and i purr

is it wrong to give what we both need
a mess in the bed
a mess on the floor
a mess on the kitchen counter
and maybe more

no kids to worry about
no fray of the hair
just one and two, together
naked, subconsciously confused

it feels like before
but only now once a week
to express our peak
when did....
when did...
when did time grab a hold of us and make us meek.

as he puts down the bottle of wine
and I stand up sweating
still drunk
when did our time together evaporate
when all we ever needed was a dialogue of time and space

after this cigarette and the next
we find comfort in knowing
we the ashamed few, we look at each other
and all i see is you, us, ruined in books and chapters and footnotes

all you care about is your book
i'm writing one too
it's about you and me
and about us too
when and where and what we did

and your books about some goddess
that I can't even compete
her hair so silky, her mouth so touching
do you think of her when you fuck me?

Maybe you are and maybe you're not
but stay faithful and close
for I can't linger on
our baby is our art

don't let it tear us apart.