the vile one

I grabbed it again
the vile one
the one that soothes
the one that makes me do
what i cannot other wise

i love my drink and it tastes good
i haven't had a taste in 16 years
before my mother was born
why was i scared
presumptuous i gasp

but no, it's sitting there
on my night stand
a tad bit of juice
orange
with vodka
the only thirst

don't look in the mirror
you might see yourself
depraved and alone
on the toilet bowl

piss blood
and hack it out
the mucus, the phelgm
this drink is my lady for tonight
where has she gone
what has she done

questions? of questions
and peddle some sorrow
i ache to be healed
not by it, but by a loving touch
i love you so, i cannot go
and you're stuck in my head and in my mind
lost forever

simple, pure, odorless
this heavenly, the vodka
the Russians who made it
they knew what thirst meant
sitting in their bunkers
writing the best,
all over their chests

the light is dim
the nurse is calling
hide the bottle in the desk
and begin to process
the feeling of the thunder
the feeling of the unholy bliss