pourquoi

I think I am stupid
I think I am
I think je suis

There was this beautiful girl at the mall.
She had red hair and was perfect.
We talked a lot about cable, and movies.
And me, after my 2nd coffee, my heart was beating fast.
I couldn't think, I was focused in my game.
Not that game, but a game I created for myself.
An intelligence one, that I sometimes lose myself in.
But she was being forward, and I was sitting dumb
She kept saying movies and I didn't know what she meant

So after 20 minutes I left, not realizing the date possibility.
silly me.
But then I went into darkness when I left the mall, it happened.
I went backwards and spun out of my zone.
The caffeine still pumping through my veins.
I took a chance to see something I thought was new
But it was the same old thing I saw before.
And I sat down
so dumb

Before all this, I saw Tammy and gave her a painting I purchased at the art crawl.
She hammered away into watches and I was in the moment to be.
Until I left the mall.

Frustration and images, thoughts forgotten. backwards.
I saw one of my past lives, that I thought I would never see again.
But I learned the meaning of the way things are and now the memories of that moment fade as I lay in my Lazeretto. It's okay now since I am letting you know.

You are my sanity, you are my saint. and the message I want to get across is just be careful and play the game safe.

So, if you want to get me a present for my 144th day of the year birthday day, find the marketing host of Cogeco and I will pay you in Toblerones.

Gg

6 finger man

I'm outta the muck

and into the mine

of grasping conscience 

too big to hold my mind

the breathe on the window

as it draws a picture of himself

a picture with 6 fingers

all leaning on the long side

he took the bus

disguised as a human

he sat right next to a girl

he saw her feet moving

so he sang a song

no words could come out

something like a cell phone would sound

something eerie and cryptic, all about

he held his breath

but he wanted to talk

but the human words

he have not yet learned

he sat there drawing 

all the perfect squares

that looked like his planet

and made him stare

he pulled the cord

she left first

he wanted to get a picture

to show his friends above earth

tapping her shoulder

6 finger man

he showed her his camera

and told how to pic the man

she lined up so sweetly

took a flash and left

he sent that picture fast

to the Jupiter men

ding ding went his Tracebook

from the ones above

he got 39 comments

and he smiled and walked on

we have the rum

(spoken)
Avast me merry gentlemen
spear the anchor
we are going on board
to another racking clunker ship
a ship in the reef and its passengers
sailing proficiently til dusk
have you no clue what's going to erupt
a sign of quick danger,a sign of quick attack

(sung?)
you see the mellow light switch
you see that golden hand
we will be forever rich
til the sun becomes one man

we have the rum, it's true
to drink past the silent pew
we don't need no luck, nor god
to help us pillage these fools

we take what we want
give nothing back
for we are soldiers of the bones
drink up me merry gentlemen
there's no looking back

upholsterer your magic foot crown
we have the rum to drink us down
we have the candles glowing lit
all we have is a merchant ship

(spoken)
with jewels and some wench
she looks like the British Queen
we take the wench and tie her up
steal the captain and his first mate
we get them drunk off rum tonight
to cleanse the palette right
for alas we made it, you swine!
all of you back on board
we got the gold and silver
the only pillage in mankind
the next ship awaits, my kin
we will find it, late at night
possibly even tonight

(yelled)
can you handle that you sea of drunks?
can you handle that tonight?

this ain't no easy ride

we're sitting around
reading gold for free
it's not a game, babe
it's up to you and me

I can't look down
and i can't look up
i'm neither here
nor there

stuck in purgatory
change the channel
boxing and fights
is all you watch

we laugh sometimes and i catch a grin
your sugar honey waiting for ye
I blink and my contact fell out
I don't have a contact on my phone, no doubt

riddle and rhymes
sitting comfortably now
sticks and stones
and mud pile street

cadavers and astronauts
smoking their joints
are you ready to play?
all focused now?

sir, what day is it today?
why its a May day
sometime in may
and believe it is day

no shit, I think
and he rambles back inside
I ask the next passerby
what type of question to pry

SIR! WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY?

and he answers
a grin on his chin
you're asking the wrong guy
I'm hanging out with you on Jupiter

"this ain't no easy ride"

oogly boogly

the baby on the teevee
has it's own commercial
wah wah wah
and a toothache

what does he need?
milk or water
food or shelter I wonder
what to think??

I think the baby just needs a hug
a big one, an oogly boogly one
and it will stay fine and everything
it will connect the sanction

when and where can i find it
let them drive me, without my seatbelt
and that's what happens, it just happened
a crash, a jolt

I'm tired
make me awake
the baby coos
and i'm awake

on a homemade noose
there never was a baby
there never was a car
there never was a mother

just me
stuck on the farm
the farm that Orwell built
what's with all the baby blogs?

Ginger

this story is about Ginger,.

She was 17 years old when the modelling agent discovered her, kicking stones into water on the LA beach. He found her, he needed to, or else he wouldn't have a job. No food for the kids, no child support, he would have to spend some time in daddy-day-care, a jail, just for the ones who couldn't make it. They'd torture you, he heard, and he definitely didn't want that to happen. He wanted to, literally, keep his balls.

Ginger didn't really understand. A determinism if you asked for sure. She had the model body already. Long legs, long arms, an alien head on a thin body. She could make them angle to however the photographer needed. She was NEXT material. And Henry found her.

She was in a two piece bathing suit and her hair in a bun. He ran to her as fast as he could, faster than he could. She was shocked, didn't know what happened, her mom was running to her and he gave her a card.

"Hello," he said, "I'm Jerry. I want to represent your daughter for a agency known as Next."

Ginger fell to the ground. Tears in her eyes. Her mom was shocked. Of course, how could you
say no? Ginger trusted Henry as soon as they met and he hired the top photographers in LA and New York. Ginger was a model. Officially. And her first job was an ad on Times Square. She would walk the catwalk and the money just kept piling in, checks and checks and Henry became rich and was no longer a nothing on the LA strip but he had a full roster of different models, both men and women.

Ginger would model for the next 4 years and then she just traveled around with her model boyfriend. A hunk of a man, same age as her and worked with Jerry as well. They went to Beijing, Tokyo, Rome, Paris, every singled fashion capital in the world.

And in each and every city she visited, she went to the beach and kicked stones into the water. With a smile on her face.

motel pool

I'm laying in the motel pool and it's one of those days those meterologists let you dream about.
Ice cold beer and a sun making you sweat, salty tears on your body, the taste of paradise. I'm sitting in a chair that floats and it has one of those beer drink holders as you float and tan. Paradise. I let my sunglasses talk for my eyes. A black eye last night from a bar fight, but let's not get into that right away, lets just float.

I came here looking for answers, to find myself and find a whole lotta cash to get me there. And all I've found was a pack of cigarettes and a 12 pack. It's okay, I abandoned my car about 10 miles from here. No gas. How could I be so stupid? Adolescent behaviour in my thirties. Hold on a sec, gotta grab another beer.

This pool is as big as the ten miles I walked to get here. Gargantuan, huge, massive. I see something moving beneath me, a shadow 20 feet below. I splash around, maybe it was just the sun or the concussion from last night. Either/or something is fishy. I see a fin appear above water. Fuck, the salt wasn't from my forehead. The fin is heading towards me now at a speed I cannot comprehend, so I ditch the chair, the beer and my sunglasses and pressure swim to the side stairs. This thing is hunting me. I climb out of the pool and look back. No fin, no fish, nothing hunting me.

I walk into the quaint, almost empty lobby in my piss soaked bathing suit.

"There's something in the water," I declared, "it's hunting people."

"Oh you mean Lino. Hell, I caught that sonabitch great white 30 years ago," says the manager.

"It was there and I know it. I FELT it," I said.

"No, looky. I got his head right there. Right above when yous walked in," says the manager.

Above the door, a chalky white skull. Bones of a great white. Teeth as sharp as obsidian. The mouth gapes open for one last scream. I feel delusion, scared, sick, tired and the piss in my bathing suit is beginning to smell.

"I reckon you sleep it off, friend. Whatever you boys did last night, hell, don't matter to me, but I know as hell you've been hallucinating on a 30 year old dead fish," says the manager.

Fuck, he's probably right. The absinthe, rum, vodka, wine, beer, funnels, kegstands. Goddamn first year college bullshit. By myself. Looking for my lady in the night. Any lady. Someone to help me find myself. Better off relax in the room and sleep off some of this hangover.

I look over at the pool and the chair is gone, nowhere in sight. It can't be the shark. It couldn't. I fall asleep and I dream of the shark. Waking up in more piss and then I light a cigarette.

Definitely shouldn't have gotten drunk last night.