mental

I haven't edited or written anything in the past month besides what you see here. I'm a mess, emotionally, physically and mentally. My Truths have become subsided by alter realities. My brain a topic of discussion over sane and insanity. Am I a full person? People around me look at me strangely, or it may be an ignoble incognito. The books I am reading hold no purpose for I cannot sit still enough to engulf the facts and chapters with the Existential realm for which they propose. Family is distraught with sickness and at once I am summoned to save them all. My body is a torn mess from gyro meat and lack of exercise. Doesth thou see no hope? My body I can save one day, through fitness, but the others fate I cannot predict. Why couldn't the pain be justly put on me instead of them? I ask you. Scientifically, if there is a way I can think, please whisper it into my ear. Unworldly, let you do as you may. I may be disappearing for days on end, when I am at the tether of a clasp of chains to my maiden bed. I set sail in my dreamworld, quivering, sweating, waking up in terror and asking more questions than one could have all the answers for. She calls for me, I can hear her, my savior, for she has not married yet. But I have failed her in the past and will forever be unforgivable. All I can say now is pray. I will, and may god have mercy on our souls. For if there is no mercy, let there be justice and love will transcend through us all.