napkin

I know I said sorry
When i really meant was thank you

i look up to you
i find you
i curse the day you were born
yet i love you

what uncanny resemblance you are
of someone i met a long time ago
shoveling shit into the sewers
and drinking from a flask

those days are over now
and we stay at home with our regret
drinking bottle after bottle
of something to find, someone to get

we look in the mirror
facing each other at the table
and i ask you dear
could you pass the lime for the tequila

and thats when you snapped
and said fuck you
and get a job you lazy ass
im fed up

and i looked at her softly and told her
the only change comes from you
you have to mold me
develop me

i need you to nurture
when all i get is disruptions in the middle of the night
about men looking for you and your child
our baby, this bottle

could you ask for more
and it goes down smooth
and we forget for an hour or two
but when it really comes down to it, im a drunken sailorman

i found you at port, with a port in my hand
you said it would stop
all the rings of the dispatch
you would quit for one night

just to be with me only
but isn't that what you tell them all
after a few drinks, kicked back
that im the only one in the world

as your pager goes flash
how many more like me out there
i want to know
let your sin out, so i can rest my sin too

you finish the bottle, then jump on the curb
hailing down cabbies like no one else could
and i look from my window, on east 22nd
and you wave in the air, not to me but to him

another one of me, every hour
im surprised you can stand at all
all over me
and im addicted, your lust and your lies

and im stuck here til i see you again
waiting for you to open that door
i don't want "it"...i just want your love
but the bottle took that

a long time before you were birthing
our kids, jack and jim beam
i only taste the bourbon with you and no other
this is all i can say in this statement

im succumbed by her, Lord
let me heal my wounds in the shadows
my only last hope
is if she comes back tomorrow or at all, or never, or forever

i'll still only be just a drunken sailor of your love
the drunken man in the distance
the drunk
man, man, man. the one you use as a napkin