dunfermline nights

How many more nights do I have to be in prison?

-the warden asks the prisoner

I've come to the conclusion that the realness of being is waking up in the late afternoon and reading and writing tales that just appear out of nowhere. I remember being in Dunfermline, drinking the beer, hustling the pool. A kid with a funny accent wanted to trade shoes with me. He just wouldn't give up, so we matched sizes and i took one shoe and he took the other and we were both happy. That was the first time I got drunk. The billets were nice and I wanted to kiss their daughter, secretly. But I got stuck with popcorn and it was alright. Never really had the chance. We talked soccer and news. Fresh breakfast in the morning. More than anyone could ask for. Then we partied after the game and it was uncanny. I can't tell you my friends at this point, because you will probably think unkindly of both me and them. This wreck of a woman meets me under the light in the driveway and opens a beer with her eye, then her belly button and god knows I don't know where the last beer went but it was open. Her eye was red the whole night. Savages we were. So the police came and had batons and started beating all the Scottish kids and I said something jolly to one officer and he gave me a look with his baton that pretty much meant, get the fuck out of the way. The backyard was a cliff with no fence. It was pretty dangerous, come to think of it. And we hijacked as much alcohol as possible to drink on the walk home. The bigger guys would stop for chips and me and my friend just kept walking. And this is where it gets weird. Me and friendo appear at a beach. I don't know how we got there or why but we were just there, with two girls. And it was the classic, you show me and i'll show you. So me being me, i dropped my pants and took it out. It is pretty big, so just pretend you hear gasping and excitement, then she got naked and we just sat there looking at each other. I never had sex at this point but then we started kissing and it felt good. I put myself back in my pants and my friend was naked too. We all just made out at the beach. With bootleg alcohol and our wankers blowing in the wind.

I'll tell you about London tomorrow.