Sunday, 24 January 2016

grace

three days i spent in the hole
and all i hear are ghosts and howls at my windowsill
my passport screaming to keep my dreams
yelling, fortified

I woke up and i saw light
the bed, the light, the meals, the inner fight
what can stop me now
as i play piano into the ground

the story is told of a man known
next up is his friend and love
a brother of sorts
can't you figure it out

the ice thrown at my door
waking me up for my morning job
like an animal
suffocated

the leeches don't work to get the demon out
when you thought one was genuine
she touches her glasses tight
i speak but no word is heard

they feed me herbs and i can't feel time
the days that battle on
i feel weak and depraved
am i cared for? do they care?

a poor man's lunch
an exercise
only in moments of just disguise
wondering, just wondering

case studies and pills
the more the merrier
drink it down fast
before lines get blurry

in fever in time
i'm stuck
in fever in time
i am reborn

into a world where i do not speak or neither spoken for
where will they find me?
when can i break?
find me a way oh lord
find me some grace

Monday, 4 January 2016

the shadow

the shadow
it haunts me in the middle of the night
i can't bear to stand it's weakness
it has become me
it has torn me into two different directions
the goal
the growth of a boy into a man
it changes my mind
the being has found it's way
find your way
and speak from the heart
each part of makes me tremble
in fear, in lust, in sin
my body is changing
la la la la la
songs in my head
they hear my every breath
unbreakable
misunderstood
no more playing games
my growth is of utmost importance
for I see men in women bodies
and women in men bodies
is this the soul? is this the spirit?
the mirror says thank you, but i disagree
cut your hair and don't shave
become one
out of 2, go bowling with the shoes
unconciously we thrive
speaking words of an unknown source
what lays behind our subconcious
is it the mind? or is it just air?
bowie is one. bowie. ground control
harmonize. repeat after me.
the face looks the same
and the body soul and spirit thrives in it's union
no break
not now
can't hold on.
just find me there when i can't compare
the sagitarrius holds the key.